Sometimes your heart has to be broken open to begin healing.
When my son came home telling me of some the mean things kids say to him or each other. It reminded me of this story. It reminds me of the strength that came from my own struggles. It reminded me to teach him to have a voice but with kindness. That we never have to accept mistreatment but outer response can be with kindness. It’s not us against them how we react affects our relationship with God
My hope in sharing my story could give hope to others who feel they are or have been bullied. To find forgiveness for those that hurt us and realize God has a plan and He loves us and while it may hurt He will pull us through. There are people and resources that can help if parents, teachers, family, friends pull together and just be aware of what us happening to the people around nod us.
My heart broke open writing this story and so did the tears. I never knew this is something I still carried in my heart. No wonder I fear of people really never sticking around. They eventually decide they don’t care enough anymore and leave. Or maybe it’s time to move on from. There are those I know and trust are always there even if it’s just in your heart.
To my Pinky Linking Sister,
As a child I struggled wearing really thick glasses and being shy because I was unsure of a world around me I couldn’t see as clearly and easily as others around me. But I was a happy child. I had friends to play with. My parents loved me and always helped me so I never felt the struggle. One day my world changed. I remember 5th grade very clearly. One day on the playground, a group of girls I always played with approached me and said they didn’t want to play with me. They didn’t explain why they just walked away. I remember standing up against that elementary school building looking into the empty classroom and crying on the playground. How could they be so cruel. I thought what did I do wrong? I heard kids having fun and playing. That should have been me too. But I stood frozen staring into a window, devastated. It hurt. Kids are mean.
The next year in 6th grade I suddenly had a lot of struggles. We still went to school with the same people. It wouldn’t be until 7th grade that all the schools merged and my life would change again and I would meet a lot new friends. Until then I endured girls teasing me. I started having petit mal seizures that the doctors struggled finding the right dosage to control them. I remember lifting my chair at the end of the day to put on my desk. But the chair fell from my hand as a seizure occurred right there. Right in school and no one understood. Somehow I made it through. My parents and my 6th grade teachers all talked to me and really helped me. Then my saving grace came along in a 4 th grader named Kristy. Her best friend had just moved away and she was devastated and she lived right by me we instantly bonded and became best friends. God knew we needed each other. God knew I really needed someone better in my life. He sent her. I believe that. Those other girls weren’t good friends They were never going to be. Sometimes God removes others and brings in better people in your life. As a kid problems don’t last long but They seem big at the time but if you have love and support and faith surrounding you. You get through it. To this day her and I are still friends. Though we don’t see each other much because of life and kids in my heart she will always be my saving grace and best friend.
I eventually grew out of the seizures and made more new friends and grew out my shyness. Friends come and go but some are blessings and are constant. I’m thankful for them.
So to anyone experiencing any type of bullying, whether child or adult just know you are going to get through this. You have a voice. You have a right to speak up. Reach out. Do not go this alone. God loves you. You were made perfectly by him. Those people attacking you are broken and hurting too or they wouldn’t be doing this. Forgive them and allow God to lead your way. He will guide you out if this.
I can look back on that day and forgive those who did that to me. Whether I knew it or not it was part of God’s plan. I look back now in tears but not in hurt now but of understanding of how God was working in my life. At 10 years old, same age my son is now. This is my call to teach him what I didn’t know. To tell him it’s going to ok and to feel blessed he feels he can come to me.
16-19 There are seven things that the Lord hates and cannot tolerate:
A proud look,
a lying tongue,
hands that kill innocent people,
a mind that thinks up wicked plans,
feet that hurry off to do evil,
a witness who tells one lie after another,